Talking Kaleidoscope Closets and Vash Vash Zwingli
by proverbial doormat
Summary: DenSwiss. Human AU. At a beginning of the year frat party, a very drunk Matthias Køhler falls into the hands of the Bad Touch Trio only to be thrown in a closet with pissed off Swiss student Vash Zwingli.


_Just something I threw together. _

_Beware of excessive line breaks and drunk Matthias._

* * *

Matthias was drunk.

Correction: Matthias was _very_ drunk.

So drunk, in fact, that the massive Swedish business major sitting next to him was beginning to look more like an Ikea couch than an unnaturally tall college student. Matthias didn't even know his name—this kid just didn't_ talk_—but he was already sprawled across him, laughing and mumbling and ignoring the intimidating death glare boring into his forehead.

Matthias pressed their faces together, close enough that the Swede's glasses were touching his cheeks, and grinned a stupid, sloppy grin. He poked the huge chest. "Say! What's your name?"

Large hands removed him from the giant lap. A deep voice and a serious expression. "Yer drunk."

Matthias laughed. "Hey, Yer Drunk!" He gave a playful shove to the boulder-like shoulder. "Nice ta meet ya!"

Cold sea blue eyes behind steel-rimmed glasses did not find his comment amusing. But the eyes' opinions didn't matter, because Matthias was already on the floor.

* * *

After this beautiful tsunami of lights and red Solo cups and pounding music, Matthias finds himself on his own two feet for the first time in several hours. He sways, and is caught by a silver-haired German accent.

German accent takes his arm and waves it in the air, screeching across what appears to be the kitchen, "Hey! I got a plastered blondie over here! Vhat ya got for him?"

A tall long-haired blonde emerges with a pissed off short long-haired blonde. "Vash needz to be 'aving zome fun," says tall long-haired blonde with French accent.

Matthias laughs and waves at pissed off short long-haired blonde. Pissed off short long-haired blonde flails around in tall long-haired blonde's grasp and shrieks "Vhat the hell is going on here?"

There's laughter, and then Matthias is in a closet with pissed off short long-haired blonde and it's dark.

* * *

Matthias laughs, but pissed off short long-haired blonde doesn't find their situation amusing.

Pissed off short long-haired blonde glares at Matthias through the darkness. "Why are you laughing?"

Matthias frowns. "Why are you so angry?"

Pissed off short long-haired blonde doesn't say anything.

"What's your name?"

"Vash. Vash Zwingli."

And then Matthias is kissing Vash Vash Zwingli because Vash Vash Zwingli is the most fascinating name Matthias has ever heard, and, in this dingy, smoky frat house, Matthias has heard many names.

But Vash Vash Zwingli pushes Matthias away, and yells—he seems to like yelling—at him, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Matthias pouts. "I like you. So I kissed you."

Then Vash Vash Zwingli frowns. "You don't even know me."

And then Matthias laughs. "You're Vash Vash Zwingli and you have a cool accent and you're short and you're here in this closet with me." Matthias pauses to think. "Oh! And I like you. So there. I do know you."

Vash Vash Zwingli rolls his eyes and Matthias kisses him again. And, this time, Vash Vash Zwingli does not pull away.

* * *

Matthias was very drunk.

Correction: Matthias was _very_, very drunk.

So very drunk, in fact, that when the lights in the closet came back on and another beautiful tsunami ran him through the house, he forgot to tell Vash Vash Zwingli his name. Actually, he forgot about Vash Vash Zwingli entirely.

Massive Swedish business major got Matthias home. He turned out to be his roommate.

That night, Matthias dreamed of a kaleidoscope talking closet and a beautiful blonde who seemed to like yelling.

* * *

Early on a crisp Monday morning in September, Vash Zwingli sits in on an economics lecture. Two empty seats down from him is a tall, obnoxious student with gravity defying blonde hair and a stupid, sloppy grin that seems vaguely familiar. The stupid, sloppy grin is suddenly directed at Vash, and the blonde leans over the two chairs to laugh and wave and say,

"Matthias. Matthias Køhler."

* * *

_So I've always wanted to try writing this pairing because one of my friends ships it and it's just so perfectly weird and crack-y and underappreciated. My apologies for the funky writing style and random tense switching, etc. I've been reading 'Will Grayson, Will Grayson' and 'Slaughterhouse-Five' all at the same time, and my writing is usually influenced by the author I'm currently reading. Then, I also thoroughly enjoy breaking the rules, so who knows my real reasoning..._

_Anyway, I love reviews and favorites and things, so if you wanna, feel free._

_*waves and awkwardly runs off*_


End file.
